4 Tips to Authentically Connect with Your Teen Homeschooler

Do you want to foster an authentic connection with your teen? Well, David and I recently interviewed Josh Cordell, who is a father and an author. He also has had some experience with homeschooling, as he and his wife have homeschooled their daughter at various points in her education. He is the author of "With Changes Everything: What 5,000 Walks with Teens Taught Me About Trust, Connection and Presence” (see links below). 

Mr. Cordell lives in Oregon and has worked with teens his entire adult life. From youth ministry to teen coaching, he loves connecting with teens and having open conversations with them. Currently, he coaches teens and goes on walks with them to connect. He also does some online coaching for teens. Lastly, he shares burger reviews with his daughter on social media, which have been a big hit.

Mr. Cordell shared important insights on how to foster authentic connections with your teen. Personally, I believe these tips are vital to the success and care of the next generations. 

• Make time for a walk or drive to connect with your teen. 
• Build safety and trust. 
• Set an intention to be curious and not overreact. Also, remind yourself that presence requires less distraction.
• Use intentional questions and phrases.

Time Out

First off, make time for a walk or drive to connect with your teen. Set aside time to authentically connect with them. It will help you learn more about them. If done with empathy and love, this will build safety and trust within your relationship. You can spend time walking for an hour or twenty minutes to connect. That depends on you and your teen’s decision. 

Next, build safety and trust. Mr. Cordell encourages parents to set a destination and part ways after their walk time is through, especially after their teen shares something big or vulnerable. This allows your teen to gain independence and freedom, and you to gain space. Sometimes, after these walks, you both may need time to process the conversation. Also, remember that walking in silence is okay too. Let your teen set the tone of the walk. 

Furthermore, set an intention. Set an intention to be curious and not overreact. Seek out your teen’s perspective and their point-of-view in life. Ask them questions to learn more about them. When they share something big or vulnerable, try to not overreact. However, if you need to address something dangerous, sometimes you will need to just jump right into the discussion. Remember to communicate with kindness and understanding, but also use boundaries and confidence. 

Finally, use intentional questions and phrases to facilitate an authentic conversation. 

Examples: 

• “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
• “I appreciate your honesty.” 
• "I need a second to think about this.” 
•  “How are you feeling about what happened?”  
• “What is something that is difficult for you right now?”  
• “What’s something that would surprise me about you?” 

Conclusion

In conclusion, Josh Cordell’s tips can inspire parents to rejuvenate their relationship with their teens. This can bring healing to both the parent and the child. In addition, teens can find a space of safety with their parents. Now, more than ever, this is needed to protect and support the next generations. Authentic connections with your teen won’t just heal your household; this will begin to heal the nation. 

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This information came from a resource on the interview with Josh Cordell. 

- NxtEra

Written by Bethany (@thebookwormgirl_bethany)

Helpful Links:

https://www.facebook.com/josh.cordell

https://www.instagram.com/joshcordell/

Josh Cordell - Josh Cordell Website

https://www.facebook.com/PrepSuccessCoach

http://www.prepsuccesscoach.com/

Book Link: https://a.co/d/0jlH564X