Determining Family Values

 

Mission:

Get a clear understanding of your family’s values.

 

Intro:

My favorite thing about homeschooling is it allows the family to instill their family values into their child without having to battle all the toxic nonsense that exists in today’s society. It is impossible to argue the fact that homeschooling gives the parents the power back in the child’s upbringing.

With that power comes a lot more responsibility. Homeschooling puts parents around their kids 24/7. This gives them the opportunity to live out the example of their family’s values every single day. However, with that extra time, if strong morals and values are absent, you cannot expect your kids to have strong boundaries. If kids watch the parents have vague boundaries, they will most likely grow up the same.

If not drinking is one value in a household, and the kids witness their parents turn down alcohol at every event and party growing up, don’t you think it would be easier for them to imitate that when they grow up and attend parties and events?

“Kids emulate their parents far better than they listen to them”

Being with your kid that much gives you a great opportunity to develop them however your family sees fit. Before we get into it, I want to stress the fact that there is nothing wrong with a family having strong values and morals. Right now, society and social media will try to dictate what values your family should live by, or what should and shouldn’t be acceptable. This is your family. It is nobody else’s place to tell you what values you should live by. As long as you aren’t preaching violence, hate, or communism—this is America—you should and can raise your kids how your family sees fit. So use this opportunity to show your child what values are important to your family. Let them know that their last name is special and it has meaning. Explain to them that when you stand for something, you don’t bend your knee to please another individual or society.

 

Implementation

As corny as it may sound, having values that the whole family is clear on will go a long way. When determining your family’s values, make them as clear as possible—short, concise, and impossible to misinterpret. The reason we want them to be very clear is because your values are going to be what your child subconsciously runs their decision-making process against whenever presented with a new opportunity or decision.

Keeping them concise and top of mind will only make the correct decisions easier in the moment. These values don’t have to be anything extreme. Even simple ones like:

⬩Addressing adults as Sir and Ma’am

⬩Saying please and thank you

⬩Not partaking in gossip

...can go a long way in shaping your child into the future man or woman they will become. Values like these are dying out. You’d be amazed at how far simple respect and curiosity can take you in today’s world.

 

Determining Your Family’s Values

Deciding on your values doesn’t need to be overcomplicated.

1. You and your partner should reflect on the values you already live by.

2. Individually list out the values you both live by today.

3. Brainstorm the type of person you want your child to become. Consider:

– What values are important to your family?

– What traits must you adopt to model those values?

– How can you clearly explain them?

– What can your child start doing now to live by them?
4. Have your kids brainstorm their own values and goals. Let them write what values they want to live by and what actions they must take today to start that process.

5. Come together as a family to share and align. Truly listen to your kids’ perspectives. The more they take ownership of a value, the more likely they are to uphold it.

6. Decide on the final list of values your family stands for.

 

3 Rules of Family Value Success

⬩Live the standard day in and day out—especially when no one is watching.

⬩Don’t shy away from confrontation when it comes to your values.

⬩Constantly bring up and show real-life examples of living those values.

 

Conclusion

To wrap this up, I want to highlight that the degree to which your kids hold true to their personal values is directly tied to how often they see YOU do it. You can host 5,000 family meetings about values—but if you aren’t living them, it won’t matter. Yes, talking about values is important. But **watching you live them** is what truly locks them in.