Carnicella’s Real Life Issues

 

This resource was created to document three of the biggest challenges my mom faced on our homeschool journey.

Before we get into the problems, I want to point something out. I’m not sure if it’s just my family or if it’s true for every homeschooling family out there. Both of my parents had the mentality that this is what we’re doing, so we’re going to do what it takes. If you listen to the recording of me trying to figure out their top three problems, both of them insisted they weren’t problems — just part of the journey.

I can personally remember countless things we faced along the way that I watched them solve. For example: tackling the financial issue by my mom working full-time. After this conversation, I’m 100% positive we succeeded on our journey because they had the mentality of how am I going to make this work? instead of sitting around thinking about how hard it was.

 

Problem #1: Groundhog Day

My mom said the biggest challenge she faced during her 12+ years of homeschooling was feeling like it was Groundhog Day every day.

This is easy to understand because as a homeschool parent, you are going to live the same day on repeat. She said the two things that felt most repetitive for her were:

1. Same tasks every day. Every day felt monotonous: wake up, get the kids up, work out, make breakfast, clean up the breakfast mess, start the school day, etc.

2. Fearing the same question every day. That moment when your child asks a question about their schoolwork, and you have no idea how to answer. 

Solution

You can find something to complain about in everything you do. Wake up and make progress. Go to sleep. Wake up the next day and make some more progress. Go to sleep. Every single day.” — Bear

When we talked about how she overcame the feeling of living the same day over and over, she said she realized her only other option was basically the same thing. In other words, she would have to wake up every day, get the kids to school, go to work, pick up the kids, cook dinner, go to sleep — and do it all again. And she knew she’d rather live the same day on repeat with her kids than without them.

⬩(David’s 2¢) Anything we do in life requires us to do the same tasks over and over again. One of the key determinants of success is the ability to endure that monotonous feeling day after day — and still wake up committed and dedicated to tackling the goal or task you’ve set for yourself.

 

Problem #2: Zero Recognition

“At that time, almost everyone wanted us to fail.” — Norma

The second biggest challenge she shared was the constant feeling of zero recognition. Add to that the fact that some family members, friends, and outside individuals low-key wanted her to fail. They wanted to be able to say they were right.

She made a great point: there’s no Employee of the Month parking spot. There’s no paycheck at the end of the week to reward you for your hard work. There’s absolutely zero recognition outside of the household — and that can take a mental toll. The lack of rewards makes it hard to recognize all the wins you’re actually achieving along the way. She believed this was because you’re always focused on conquering the next challenge.

Solution

Compound your success. Since homeschooling is a long game, the best way she found to work through this was by taking it one day at a time. She focused on just winning that day. She also suggested that parents start tracking their small wins along the way. Since there’s no external recognition for doing a good job, you have to figure out a way to remind yourself that you are winning day in and day out. By tracking your progress, you can at least look back and see that you’re taking the necessary actions to be successful.

⬩(David’s 2¢) When we’re chasing down a vision we truly want, it can feel like we’re the only ones on the path. Whether it’s your family on a homeschooling journey or your personal goal in life, there will be times when no one’s in your corner cheering you on or validating your choices. These are the moments when you have to dig deep and become your own biggest supporter. Once you succeed, everyone will say they always knew you could do it. But those same people usually won’t be there during the journey. Thankfully, as homeschool families, we have each other and this community — but always remember: you have to believe before everyone else does.

 

Problem #3: Comparison

“At that time, almost everyone wanted us to fail.” — Norma

The third and final challenge was the struggle with comparing us to local school kids. As an educator herself, my mom wanted to make sure we were keeping up. But sometimes, when a friend’s child learned something before we did, she would stress and wonder if she wasn’t doing enough, or if we were falling behind. In reality, all three of us ended up being well ahead.

Even though she was a teacher, she still constantly questioned whether she was doing enough to help us succeed. She pointed out that letting these negative thoughts in would trigger a pattern of self-doubt and worry about whether she was doing the right thing.

Solution

As a certified teacher, I understand why she was nervous about us not being where we needed to be. She emphasized that moms who aren’t certified teachers might struggle with this even more.

The way she powered through those limiting beliefs was thanks to my dad. He simply doesn’t care what others think. Whenever she got nervous about keeping up with the school system, he would always remind her that it didn’t matter what other people were doing. If they both knew they were making the right moves and taking the appropriate actions, all they needed to focus on was our growth and ground themselves in that.

⬩(David’s 2¢) The struggle with comparison in homeschooling is no different from what we face in life. It’s easy to fall into the pattern of comparing where you are to everyone else. But any time you shift your focus away from your own goals, you’re limiting yourself. I fully believe: where attention goes, energy flows. If you’re constantly in a state of comparison — whether it’s about money, cars, or even your spouse — you’re never going to achieve what you’re after. No one can completely avoid comparison. It’s human nature. What I suggest is my 5-second rule: whenever I catch myself in a negative thought pattern, I take five deep breaths. Then I flood my brain with solutions for how to achieve my goals, or I tune into all the memories of actions I’ve taken that brought me closer to where I want to be. 

 

Conclusion

At the end of the day, every homeschool journey comes with its own challenges. What matters most is the mindset you bring to the table: focusing on solutions, staying committed, and remembering why you chose this path in the first place. If you keep showing up and doing the work, the wins will add up — even if no one else sees them yet.